6 Reasons Why You Carry Fear Around With You ?

Uncategorized Oct 08, 2020

Fear, it's so easy to get overwhelmed by it. To let it hold you back. We have all been there!

The fear can stop you from:

  • Trying new things. 
  • Asking someone out for a date.
  • Pushing yourself and your ideas forward in work.

Fear often comes about through ‘thinking errors’ negative thoughts we have about ourselves and the world in general. They can become a habit and create a lifetime of underachievement and unhappiness. But habits can be broken with practice.

Here are 6 of the most common destructive and fear-inducing thought habits and what to do instead of letting them roam free in your head.

  1. You fear uncertainty.

Uncertainty can be worrying but if we shy away from the issue and refuse to examine and define the scope of the issue and it’s possible outcome, we keep ourselves in a position of fear.

Solution:

Ask yourself this question: what is the worst that could realistically happen? Spend some time to realistically ascertain the worst case scenario but also the most likely one. This will help you to find clarity, dispel catastrophic thinking and help you to find solutions or coping strategies.

  1. You keep the fear to yourself.

Keeping the fear to yourself will only make it increase as you lose the perspective which is needed to manage the emotions. 

Solution:   

Write the fears down and make some sense of them on paper.  Taking them out of your head and onto paper helps you to consider them more realistically. But more importantly, by sharing with a friend or family member you can gain a fresh perspective and deflate the fear and look at the situation more realistically. Just sharing your feelings with another will help you to feel more positive.

  1. Your thoughts are unbalanced

If you only focus on the negative things that could happen if you face your fear then it will prevent you from overcoming it.

Solution:

Consider both the positives and negatives of attempting to overcome your fear. Consider how it would feel to succeed and what that would mean to your life. Ask yourself whether some effort and discomfort in the short term will be worth the eventual successful outcome. Again talk this through with someone level-headed who can help you to work through this logically.

  1. You allow a few past experiences to cloud your view.

Just because something happened once or twice in the past doesn’t mean you are at risk of them continuing to happen. But human being tend to remember such incidents and these often are the source of long-held fears.

Solution:

Challenge the fear. What is his based on?  Is it still relevant today? Try to take a step back from the situation and consider it from different perspectives. i.e. just because you struggled to deliver a school presentation as a teenager doesn’t mean you cannot be a confident public speaker in adulthood.

  1. You push your fear to the back of your mind.

Avoiding your fear often makes it worse when you come face to face with it again.  However overcoming it permanently is empowering.

Solution:

Accept the fear. Breath slowly and consider the fear. Think about how it makes you feel and what it prevents you from doing. When you can calmly accept the situation, you can begin to think of solutions.

  1. You throw yourself in at the deep end.

Sometimes, courageous people face their fear head-on in the hope this will help them to overcome their fear more quickly. However, this can sometimes make things worse.

Solution:

Consider ‘gradual exposure’ as a means to overcome the fear. Take small steps and reward yourself with each small triumph. This builds your confidence slowly and makes overcoming the fear easier.

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